revealing

After these revelations came to light – I rose from the ashes to return to my childhood roots: I am Risen, I am Chosen

📣 Public-Facing Statement

Title: Survivors Deserve Truth—Not Exploitation

I am James Grein, a survivor of clergy sexual abuse and the voice behind the testimony that exposed Theodore McCarrick in 2018. Today, I speak not only for myself, but for hundreds of survivors who trusted the legal system to protect them—and were betrayed.

My former attorney, M, withheld my testimony for 19 months, misled courts about key evidence, and discouraged my involvement in criminal proceedings. He claimed I opposed the release of McCarrick’s deposition—an outright lie. He had both the written and video versions in his office and refused to share them with prosecutors.

G’s expense reports show troubling inconsistencies. He paid Fr. Thomas Doyle $10,000 for a single expert opinion, then charged 213 victims the same amount—generating over $2 million in fees. Victims received just over half of their promised settlement. When I asked Doyle about these payments, he refused to answer and hung up the phone.

This is not justice. It’s exploitation.

I am calling on the U.S. Attorney General and the Massachusetts Attorney General to investigate these practices. Survivors deserve transparency, accountability, and dignity—not manipulation and profit.

If you are a survivor, an advocate, or someone who believes in truth—stand with me. Let’s demand better.

— James Grein

James’s first steps into healing weren’t gentle—they were gritty, sacred confrontations with everything he once used to survive. Each step forward required a shedding, and with every shedding came a challenge that tested his devotion, his integrity, and his willingness to walk alone.

Here’s a deeper look at the challenges James faced during those early steps of healing:

🌑 1. The Discomfort of Silence

Challenge: Letting go of the need to be productive, performative, or understood.

James had built a life around presence—coaching, mentoring, speaking. But when healing called him into silence, it felt like betrayal. The world teaches us that silence is stagnation. That if we’re not producing, we’re disappearing. James had to unlearn that.

He faced the discomfort of sitting still while the world moved on. He had to resist the urge to explain his withdrawal, to justify his quiet, to prove he was still “doing the work.” Silence stripped him of external validation—and that was the point. It forced him to find worth in being, not doing.

🔥 2. The Mirror of Self-Confrontation

Challenge: Facing the parts of himself he had hidden, denied, or spiritualized.

Healing doesn’t begin with light—it begins with shadow. James had to look into the mirror and see the ego that had masqueraded as service. The moments he coached from control instead of compassion. The times he mentored from fear instead of faith.

This wasn’t self-loathing—it was sacred honesty. But it hurt. Because the deeper he looked, the more he saw how approval had shaped his choices. How legacy had influenced his identity. How even devotion could be distorted by performance.

He didn’t flinch. He didn’t flee. He stayed with the mirror until it became a window.

🧱 3. The Pain of Letting Go

Challenge: Releasing relationships, roles, and environments that no longer aligned.

Letting go wasn’t theoretical—it was personal. James had to release students he loved, like Sarah and Pretheek. Not because they failed him, but because their paths diverged. He had to walk away from spaces that once felt sacred but had become stagnant.

Each goodbye felt like a small death. And each one carried the temptation to hold on—to explain, to fix, to rescue. But James knew that healing required honoring the cycle of completion. He chose dignity over attachment. Respect over rescue.

And in doing so, he made space for resurrection.

🕯️ 4. The Loneliness of Transformation

Challenge: Outgrowing what once felt like home—and being misunderstood for it.

As James began to walk differently, he felt the ache of separation. His eyes no longer chased the same beauty. His ears grew tired of noise. His spirit craved depth, but the world kept offering distraction.

He outgrew conversations, communities, even callings. And in that shift, he felt profoundly alone. Not because he lacked connection, but because he had changed—and not everyone could meet him where he now stood.

This loneliness wasn’t punishment. It was purification. It taught him to find companionship in God, in nature, in silence. It taught him that true connection begins with self.

🧭 5. The Temptation to Speak Too Soon

Challenge: Resisting the ego’s urge to share revelations before they were fully integrated.

Every time James touched a new truth, he felt the urge to speak it. To share it. To prove he had grown. But he knew that speaking too soon would uproot the seed before it could take root.

He had to resist the temptation to turn revelation into performance. He had to hold his truth like a sacred ember—close to his chest, protected from the winds of reaction.

This restraint wasn’t repression. It was reverence. It allowed the truth to shape him before he shaped others with it.

🛐 6. The Discipline of Devotion

Challenge: Choosing presence over perfection, and faith over formula.

James’s healing wasn’t a checklist—it was a covenant. A daily devotion to truth, even when it was inconvenient. Even when it was lonely. Even when it didn’t yield immediate results.

He had to trust the process. To pray without proof. To coach without control. To mentor without molding. His devotion became his compass—not because it gave him answers, but because it kept him aligned.

And that discipline required surrender. Not once, but daily.

These challenges weren’t obstacles—they were initiations. Each one invited James deeper into himself. Each one stripped away what was false. Each one revealed what was sacred.